Right now I'm ticked off because a colleague I really like like and admire just sent me a ridiculously offensive forward of a Maxine cartoon. The cartoon starts off all right but then tries to pin our current economic shit-storm on illegal aliens coming here and taking all our "free" rights. What bullshit.
I found it highly offensive on multiple levels. So called "illegals" aren't why we're in this economic mess. No one points to our own greed and says, "That's why we're here!" - everyone wants something for nothing. People who come to this country, legally or otherwise, weren't responsible for poor executive management of the banks/mortgage/insurance industries. It's interesting that with the exception of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, there doesn't seem to be anyone pointing to the government and noting that it didn't do it's fucking job to oversee business and banking. And when it comes to people demanding free money and support, AIG is standing at the head of the line, demanding more and more and more of taxpayer money.
So as far as I'm concerned all those people claiming that illegal immigrants are ruining this country can just shut the fuck up. We're talking about people who left a bad situation, and possible their children and spouses, to struggle to create a better life in a supposedly better place. Everyone has a right to living above subsistence level. There's nothing like listening to a man who makes $200K/year for talking complain about illegal immigrants coming into this country and "stealing our jobs." And, yes, I mean Lou Dobbs.
This country was never populated only by immigrants who "came through Ellis Island legally" and anyone who believes that is delusional. People have always come to this country illegally and stayed, encouraging their children's assimilation and citizenship. That is what keeps us vibrant and growing as a country; a healthy dose of new minds, ideas, and ways of doing things.
Mar 7, 2009
Feb 18, 2009
A little poetry for ya...
Shopping for Meaning
Morality slips past,
pastel pink and sugary sweet.
The sickly odor of dissipation
teases the heart and dances on the tongue.
Responsibility lumbers on
crushing all beneath it,
while uncertainty lingers,
more powerful for its awkwardness.
And apathy exercises prerogative,
ignoring the repercussions of its carelessness.
Feb 8, 2009
Elegance
Don't tell her I said so but DD is really quite elegant, particularly in photos. In the photo I posted of her last week, I just noticed it. She's very pretty as well, not that she'd believe me. She thinks that I don't notice all the good things about her, but I do. I just don't tell her because when I do, she comes up with all these lame excuses for why she's not.
I tell her she's smart, she says no she's not and then points out how many books she hasn't completed reading. As if that makes any difference. She reads, AND understands, philosophy. She speaks two languages. She genuinely likes people - all people - and cares about music and art and all the creative things going on in Austin.
If I say she's got fabulous hair and she harps on how it's too curly or her head's too big or she can't get a decent haircut/style, whatever. The woman's hair is fabulous! Really long and curly and healthy.
Probably the most amazing thing about her is that she's still my friend after 13 years of nagging and complaining and exasperation (mine, mostly). I count on her to be the little sister I kinda always wished my actual sister would have been. (And yes, I treat her like a little sister.) I don't tell her nearly enough that she's one of the most awesome chicks I know and I love her for all the crap she's put up with from me and also for the fact that she cares about everyone in her life.
Too bad I can't tell her this in person; she'd never believe me.
I tell her she's smart, she says no she's not and then points out how many books she hasn't completed reading. As if that makes any difference. She reads, AND understands, philosophy. She speaks two languages. She genuinely likes people - all people - and cares about music and art and all the creative things going on in Austin.
If I say she's got fabulous hair and she harps on how it's too curly or her head's too big or she can't get a decent haircut/style, whatever. The woman's hair is fabulous! Really long and curly and healthy.
Probably the most amazing thing about her is that she's still my friend after 13 years of nagging and complaining and exasperation (mine, mostly). I count on her to be the little sister I kinda always wished my actual sister would have been. (And yes, I treat her like a little sister.) I don't tell her nearly enough that she's one of the most awesome chicks I know and I love her for all the crap she's put up with from me and also for the fact that she cares about everyone in her life.
Too bad I can't tell her this in person; she'd never believe me.
Dear American Music Awards,
Exactly when did The Grammy Awards become lame? Is there a reason the entire show seems trite and uninteresting? Could it be the obvious lip-syncing? Or maybe the over-emphasis on glitz and glam, without any real talent behind it. Dunno...just know it sucks and quite frankly could be canceled and I wouldn't notice. Seriously, there's only so much sounds-exactly-alike pop music I can take. Quit it.
Just thought I'd share that with ya.
Sincerely,
Me
P.S.
Kanye West is over-hyped and under-talented. Stop trying to make him into more than he is. I mean it. Just stop. And could someone please tell me why that man has a mullet, circa 1985? My cousin wore that style when we were 14...he was cool then, but that was 25 years ago. I mean, DAMN!
Just thought I'd share that with ya.
Sincerely,
Me
P.S.
Kanye West is over-hyped and under-talented. Stop trying to make him into more than he is. I mean it. Just stop. And could someone please tell me why that man has a mullet, circa 1985? My cousin wore that style when we were 14...he was cool then, but that was 25 years ago. I mean, DAMN!
Feb 1, 2009
People I Like...
Last week was pretty busy for me but I did find time to hang out Friday night. I figured I'd thought I'd share with you some people that I like and, coincidentally, with whom I spent Friday drinking waaaaay too much and probably being entirely too profane. Enjoy...
One person in the bottom photo does not like to have her picture taken (she knows who she is!). There is no portrait shot of her.
And this is what happens when a camera and booze meet...
Good times!
One person in the bottom photo does not like to have her picture taken (she knows who she is!). There is no portrait shot of her.
And this is what happens when a camera and booze meet...
Good times!
Jan 26, 2009
The mad tick tick ticking...
...of my biological clock has gotten obnoxiously loud, so I've decided to give in and work on getting pregnant sometime this summer. Why? That is the question, innit.
Oddly, when I was 14, I decided that I was never going to get pregnant. Health class made it sound icky and gross; and let's be honest here, it also made the fetus sound like a parasite. Still does, if I'm being truthful. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be a mom but never, ever, wanted to be pregnant. I mean, ewww. I figured I'd adopt and then me and my child would settle down to being a family.
So why have I changed my mind? Because adoption is EXPENSIVE!! The average cost to adopt a child state-side is $10,000-$15,000; to adopt internationally - $30,000-$40,000. Then there's the restrictions - many countries will not adopt to single people, even fewer will consider lesbians. That's way more money than I can earn or save in any reasonable amount of time. I've waited a long time to become a mother and I don't want to have to wait too much longer.
Many people struggle with the idea of being a single parent, but I'm not one of them. I've always known that I would be doing this alone. I'm not very good at relationships; my default position is single. Plus I don't really have any desire to be "married."
I've honestly always assumed that I would be unmarried all my life, so the idea that I would parent alone is not frightening for me. I watched my mom raise 5 kids by herself and know that it was a struggle, so I have no illusion about being a single parent. It's hard, exhausting, nerve-wracking, stressful, and sometimes unforgiving work but that doesn't put me off wanting to be a mom. I can handle those things.
What frightens me more is the idea of never having someone of my own to love and/or dying alone and leaving no one behind to remember me or care that I was here and am gone. Stupid, yeah? Selfish? I don't know. For what other reason do people have children? I have no worries about my "family name" - my brothers have that one all locked up, mostly by accident but whatever. I feel like my reasons are as good as theirs, probably better because this is a child I very much want and am planning for.
So in July I will begin trying to get pregnant. I'm actually looking forward to the "journey" and the sensations and all that nonsense. I still kinda think fetuses are parasites but I can live with it for nine months. And in the end, I'll have someone to love and cherish. That is more than worth it.
Oddly, when I was 14, I decided that I was never going to get pregnant. Health class made it sound icky and gross; and let's be honest here, it also made the fetus sound like a parasite. Still does, if I'm being truthful. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be a mom but never, ever, wanted to be pregnant. I mean, ewww. I figured I'd adopt and then me and my child would settle down to being a family.
So why have I changed my mind? Because adoption is EXPENSIVE!! The average cost to adopt a child state-side is $10,000-$15,000; to adopt internationally - $30,000-$40,000. Then there's the restrictions - many countries will not adopt to single people, even fewer will consider lesbians. That's way more money than I can earn or save in any reasonable amount of time. I've waited a long time to become a mother and I don't want to have to wait too much longer.
Many people struggle with the idea of being a single parent, but I'm not one of them. I've always known that I would be doing this alone. I'm not very good at relationships; my default position is single. Plus I don't really have any desire to be "married."
I've honestly always assumed that I would be unmarried all my life, so the idea that I would parent alone is not frightening for me. I watched my mom raise 5 kids by herself and know that it was a struggle, so I have no illusion about being a single parent. It's hard, exhausting, nerve-wracking, stressful, and sometimes unforgiving work but that doesn't put me off wanting to be a mom. I can handle those things.
What frightens me more is the idea of never having someone of my own to love and/or dying alone and leaving no one behind to remember me or care that I was here and am gone. Stupid, yeah? Selfish? I don't know. For what other reason do people have children? I have no worries about my "family name" - my brothers have that one all locked up, mostly by accident but whatever. I feel like my reasons are as good as theirs, probably better because this is a child I very much want and am planning for.
So in July I will begin trying to get pregnant. I'm actually looking forward to the "journey" and the sensations and all that nonsense. I still kinda think fetuses are parasites but I can live with it for nine months. And in the end, I'll have someone to love and cherish. That is more than worth it.
Jan 22, 2009
Woke up pissed off...not good!
It's official, I am done teaching middle school!
1. I am sick to death of kids who don't pay attention, do the work, come to school, give a crap about anything or anyone else.
2. I am tired of parents who don't want you to discipline their kid in any way but want to know what you're going to do about the kid's failing grade!
3. I hate being harassed and talked down to by people who think that because I spend all day with children, my job is somehow less important than anything else they do.
4. I cannot continue to beg and beg and beg the same students to turn in their homework/pay attention in class/stop being disrespectful every single day!
5. I deserve to earn a wage that supports both me and a child, and this is never going to happen.
Why should I continue to be treated like a doormat by both the school district, the parents, and the children? Just because I love teaching doesn't mean that I will continue to allow myself to be devalued and overworked. I don't enjoy anything that much.
What will I do? I don't know, but there's got to be other options out there because I cannot continue in this way. My mental health is far too important for this crap! And if I don't respect myself enough to know when to leave, then I am letting myself be treated poorly and I deserve it. Enough's enough, I think.
1. I am sick to death of kids who don't pay attention, do the work, come to school, give a crap about anything or anyone else.
2. I am tired of parents who don't want you to discipline their kid in any way but want to know what you're going to do about the kid's failing grade!
3. I hate being harassed and talked down to by people who think that because I spend all day with children, my job is somehow less important than anything else they do.
4. I cannot continue to beg and beg and beg the same students to turn in their homework/pay attention in class/stop being disrespectful every single day!
5. I deserve to earn a wage that supports both me and a child, and this is never going to happen.
Why should I continue to be treated like a doormat by both the school district, the parents, and the children? Just because I love teaching doesn't mean that I will continue to allow myself to be devalued and overworked. I don't enjoy anything that much.
What will I do? I don't know, but there's got to be other options out there because I cannot continue in this way. My mental health is far too important for this crap! And if I don't respect myself enough to know when to leave, then I am letting myself be treated poorly and I deserve it. Enough's enough, I think.
Jan 19, 2009
SciFi!!
For the past coupla nights D and I have been watching movies on SciFi...it is a bad thing. So far we've seen...
1. Lost Boys: The Tribe - starring Corey Feldman and Angus Sutherland. Well, nobody expects anything even vaguely like acting from Feldman...and let me tell you, he didn't disappoint on that front. And as for the young brother of Kiefer, well, he ain't no Brando. Hell, he ain't even a Groucho. It was bad, y'all, real bad.
2. Dead or Deader - a SciFi movie, which is an extra special treat. Genetically modified scorpions...SCORPIONS!...are attacking people on a military base and turning them into zombies. Lots of green blood and bad hair. And puns. Not good. Best of all, Dean Cain looking pasty and kinda chubby. I'd explain the plot but just IMDB it; I don't have the time or space on this blog to go into it. Suffice it to say, Dean is infected but heroic enough to withstand the zombification. AWESOME!
The best thing about SciFi is they don't spare the expense for special effects, however, plot and acting are clearly not very high priorities. As a matter of fact, I would hesitate to say that plot plays a significant roll at any point in the process. Acting also takes one for the team, so to speak.
There's also their complete commitment to providing barely coherent, but visually entertaining, late night movie fodder. The occasional incorporation of C-list actors (Dean Cain with a bad dye job anyone?) just serves as whipped cream on my hot chocolate. It's fabulous.
What do you like about SciFi? Is it the high quality? The expensive special effects? The uber-talented actors? It's all good, just as long as your standards are appropriately, shall we say, flexible. Clearly mine are, I'm still watching Dead or Deader, and kinda lovin' it.
1. Lost Boys: The Tribe - starring Corey Feldman and Angus Sutherland. Well, nobody expects anything even vaguely like acting from Feldman...and let me tell you, he didn't disappoint on that front. And as for the young brother of Kiefer, well, he ain't no Brando. Hell, he ain't even a Groucho. It was bad, y'all, real bad.
2. Dead or Deader - a SciFi movie, which is an extra special treat. Genetically modified scorpions...SCORPIONS!...are attacking people on a military base and turning them into zombies. Lots of green blood and bad hair. And puns. Not good. Best of all, Dean Cain looking pasty and kinda chubby. I'd explain the plot but just IMDB it; I don't have the time or space on this blog to go into it. Suffice it to say, Dean is infected but heroic enough to withstand the zombification. AWESOME!
The best thing about SciFi is they don't spare the expense for special effects, however, plot and acting are clearly not very high priorities. As a matter of fact, I would hesitate to say that plot plays a significant roll at any point in the process. Acting also takes one for the team, so to speak.
There's also their complete commitment to providing barely coherent, but visually entertaining, late night movie fodder. The occasional incorporation of C-list actors (Dean Cain with a bad dye job anyone?) just serves as whipped cream on my hot chocolate. It's fabulous.
What do you like about SciFi? Is it the high quality? The expensive special effects? The uber-talented actors? It's all good, just as long as your standards are appropriately, shall we say, flexible. Clearly mine are, I'm still watching Dead or Deader, and kinda lovin' it.
Jan 15, 2009
The Weather
Since I live in Texas I have certain expectations about the weather:
1. It will be unbearably hot from late May until October, maybe even November.
2. Winter is actually just "summer lite" and there's no reason to own a real coat.
3. If there is a bout of cold, it will only last a few days - maybe a week or so.
4. The sun will shine...a lot, except when a cold front blows through, then it will rain like crazy.
5. I will try not to go outside from July to September...sweating is bad!
So, what's my point? Right now it's about 42 degrees outside and I'm freezing my ass off. Maybe I should turn on the heater? Maybe...
1. It will be unbearably hot from late May until October, maybe even November.
2. Winter is actually just "summer lite" and there's no reason to own a real coat.
3. If there is a bout of cold, it will only last a few days - maybe a week or so.
4. The sun will shine...a lot, except when a cold front blows through, then it will rain like crazy.
5. I will try not to go outside from July to September...sweating is bad!
So, what's my point? Right now it's about 42 degrees outside and I'm freezing my ass off. Maybe I should turn on the heater? Maybe...
Jan 14, 2009
When sleep reminds you...
Last night my mind served me a bitch-slap of ginormous proportions...while I was sleeping, no less. I dreamt and it was not good.
In my dream, I went to Freeport to visit my mother and when I arrived, I began washing the dishes. As I washed the dishes, water sloshed onto the floor from decades-old pots and pans that had been left to soak in the sink. I then alternated between washing the pots and mopping up the water on floor, the whole time keeping up a running commentary with Deanna about how old all my mom's dishes were. I stopped mopping (I think at one point I was both mopping and dish-washing), turned to D and said, "You know what, I think I'll get my mom some new pots and pans for Christmas! That'll be a really nice gift for her." D asked where she was and I didn't know. Then I woke up.
Why is this significant, you ask? Well, my mother passed away in September 2004 just after Labor Day; at our Labor Day barbeque, I commented on how crappy her pots/pans were while she was washing dishes. We agreed that I'd get her some new ones for Christmas. Then she died three weeks later.
My subconscious is kind of an asshole.
In my dream, I went to Freeport to visit my mother and when I arrived, I began washing the dishes. As I washed the dishes, water sloshed onto the floor from decades-old pots and pans that had been left to soak in the sink. I then alternated between washing the pots and mopping up the water on floor, the whole time keeping up a running commentary with Deanna about how old all my mom's dishes were. I stopped mopping (I think at one point I was both mopping and dish-washing), turned to D and said, "You know what, I think I'll get my mom some new pots and pans for Christmas! That'll be a really nice gift for her." D asked where she was and I didn't know. Then I woke up.
Why is this significant, you ask? Well, my mother passed away in September 2004 just after Labor Day; at our Labor Day barbeque, I commented on how crappy her pots/pans were while she was washing dishes. We agreed that I'd get her some new ones for Christmas. Then she died three weeks later.
My subconscious is kind of an asshole.
Jan 10, 2009
Whole Foods
Today I went to Whole Foods with the roommate...it's like a food mall. I like to "window shop" there. It's kinda fun and I can taste foods I've never eaten before such as butternut squash (didn't care for it - tasted like a mix of potato and zucchini...blech). Anyway, the Whole Foods in my town has underground parking; it is AWFUL.
There is nothing good about that. Every time I go there I feel in danger for my life; the place is like some kinda crazy maze, going around and around in circles, trying to find a place to park while avoiding all the people who are not paying any attention whatsoever to the fact that other people are driving. I have the same problem with the WF parking lot that I have at Central Market - everyone seems to be assuming they don't have to watch out for cars/pedestrians/anything. Where does this sense of entitlement come from? No idea but it's freaking annoying.
The sheer number of people driving through stop signs, ignoring obvious signs of others backing up, and just generally failing in the "drive friendly" category. It's a total pain in the ass, and always makes me reconsider going to WF.
There is nothing good about that. Every time I go there I feel in danger for my life; the place is like some kinda crazy maze, going around and around in circles, trying to find a place to park while avoiding all the people who are not paying any attention whatsoever to the fact that other people are driving. I have the same problem with the WF parking lot that I have at Central Market - everyone seems to be assuming they don't have to watch out for cars/pedestrians/anything. Where does this sense of entitlement come from? No idea but it's freaking annoying.
The sheer number of people driving through stop signs, ignoring obvious signs of others backing up, and just generally failing in the "drive friendly" category. It's a total pain in the ass, and always makes me reconsider going to WF.
Jan 9, 2009
Better late than peanut butter
I have been mocked for failing to post for over 2 months. I have been busy. Will start posting again.
Soon.
Soon.
Jan 5, 2009
Death
During the Christmas holidays three of my close friends experienced the loss of someone they cared about; it was devastating for them. I knew the young man, Michael, who killed himself but hadn't seen him in almost six years, maybe more, and really don't feel like I knew him very well at all.
And what exactly is there to say in that situation? There isn't anything that sounds adequately sympathetic. I know when my mother passed away it was hard for people to come up with anything other than "I'm sorry," which really is inadequate for everyone involved.
I spent an hour or so on the phone with DD talking about Michael's death and what she feels or should be feeling. The truth is there is nothing you can say to make someone feel better after such a loss, particularly the loss of someone younger and more fragile than you could ever have imagined. I've never had a friend or anyone I care about commit suicide and I have no frame of reference for that.
To Estela, Ana, and DD - I knew Michael though not very well, and wish that I could have gotten to know him better. My memories of him include: tequila and cigarettes at 2 a.m., feeding him Curra's nachos, allowing him to talk me into jumping off a cliff into Lake Austin, and worrying that he drank too much and slept too little. I wish I could tell you that the pain of his loss will go away and leave behind nothing but good memories but that would be a lie. It will always hurt a little whenever you think of him but, and this is important, embrace that pain because it means he is a part of your heart and you will keep him with you forever. I promise.
And what exactly is there to say in that situation? There isn't anything that sounds adequately sympathetic. I know when my mother passed away it was hard for people to come up with anything other than "I'm sorry," which really is inadequate for everyone involved.
I spent an hour or so on the phone with DD talking about Michael's death and what she feels or should be feeling. The truth is there is nothing you can say to make someone feel better after such a loss, particularly the loss of someone younger and more fragile than you could ever have imagined. I've never had a friend or anyone I care about commit suicide and I have no frame of reference for that.
To Estela, Ana, and DD - I knew Michael though not very well, and wish that I could have gotten to know him better. My memories of him include: tequila and cigarettes at 2 a.m., feeding him Curra's nachos, allowing him to talk me into jumping off a cliff into Lake Austin, and worrying that he drank too much and slept too little. I wish I could tell you that the pain of his loss will go away and leave behind nothing but good memories but that would be a lie. It will always hurt a little whenever you think of him but, and this is important, embrace that pain because it means he is a part of your heart and you will keep him with you forever. I promise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)